white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
