hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
