you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
