I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
