Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
