id be glad to
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
