Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
