My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
