do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
