did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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