Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize