Your tits are I can't wait for
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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