sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
