maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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