The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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