My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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