her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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