Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
