I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
