Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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