need another drink. this is the easiest way
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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