I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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