nut hugger
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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