Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
