I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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