Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The ass gains better be worth it
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