the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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