I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize