Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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