I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
