That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
