dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
