What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
