Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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