dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
