her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize