My brain says no but my pants say off.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
