youre lurking in front of me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
