The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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