clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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