: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
