I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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