just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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