Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
