Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
