he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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