hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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