So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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