Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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