i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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