3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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