I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Damn victory sex feels great
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
