what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
