im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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