I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
