im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I will pee on everything he values.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
