you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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