I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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